It's almost 3 years on from my Carotid Artery Dissection (a tear in the Carotid Artery) and although I've posted at different stages and felt optimistic about how things were going, it is still a huge factor in my life. I'm posting this update to share a particular thing, but it does seem that a one off incident has become a continuous condition that I have to deal with.  That certainly wasn't something I thought I would have to contend with, but it is what it is, and I share here to maybe help others who are struggling with this.

Background to this post is that I tore my Carotid Artery in 2015. It was described on my chart as 'spontaneous', meaning that there was no discernible cause for it happening. What a dissection is, is a tear in the lining of the artery. This creates a 'flap' which inhibits blood flow and can lead to stroke.
See info here on the Bupa UK Site.

Picture courtesy of Bupa UK

Fortunately I didn't have a stroke - I was very lucky as many people do.  However, a lot of my ongoing problems have related to the damage to the nerves around my eye and I've only realised how much so very recently.  My Dissection was diagnosed partly on the basis of my having Horner's Syndrome which means basically that my eye was droopy and pupil on the left side was smaller than the other one.

After the first year of feeling incredibly ill and fatigued I began to feel a little better and things were going well but over the last three years I began to see a pattern with the pain and CAD symptoms (I call them that because it's the only way I can describe them - other CAD sufferers know how it feels).
So I could have periods where I felt reasonably ok but then full on symptoms would come back, droopy eye, scalp sensitivity, head pain. Often they would be triggered by stress or tiredness.

The worst episode of this was at the beginning of this year. It had been an incredibly busy Christmas with my candles but also my new granddaughter had arrived and then my poor daughter became really ill with mastitis and then a flare up of her Ulcerative Colitis. I was incredibly stressed and we were trying to mind our little grandbaba as Síomha had to be hospitalised at various points. As soon as she became reasonably ok again, my body obviously just gave up and I began to feel really ill.
My eye became very droopy and also it felt like my face was drooping and I had a couple of episodes which I was very concerned might be TIA's (transient ischemic attack) - like getting into Mark's car and literally forgetting how to drive or how any of it worked.

Droopy eye earlier this year!

It completely freaked me out and I decided I should go to the doctor to get it checked, just in case something had happened or there was a blockage in my artery.
The doctor was great and referred me for a scan in Tallaght Hospital. I had the scan and was so relieved to hear that my arteries are completely clear, minimal plaque and good blood flow. This actually took a huge weight off my mind and Tallaght referred me back to a neurologist for all the other symptoms - that appointment has yet to take place so no update on that yet!

I suppose what I really wanted to share here was my new medication - it had not been suggested at any point previous to this but the doctor I saw was not my usual doctor and obviously thought it might be worth trying. I'm maybe 6 weeks into taking it and I literally feel like a new person. The medication is Amitriptyline - it was originally used as an anti-depressant but the smaller dosage is used to treat neuropathic pain (10mg). I have not had to take a single pain killer in weeks, I have more energy because I am not being dragged down by pain.  It has made me realise that I had simply adjusted to having constant low grade pain. It was literally there all the time and I just accepted it as normal and took Solpadeine when it got really bad.
So my experience with Amitriptyline has been incredibly positive and I know that taking on new medications can be difficult when you are dealing with stuff because the side effects are always the great unknown.  I have had very little issue with side-effects. Initially I felt very drowsy upon waking in the morning but it was ok after I had some food. I still take it quite early in the evening (around 7 p.m.) because my alarm is set for 6.30 on work days and I have to drive to the train station so I need to be alert.  I have had a few nights where my sleep was extremely restless and I had bad dreams but that seems to have settled.  I do have a bit of a horrible taste in my mouth sometimes but I try to drink lots of water during the day to counteract that.  To be honest, any of the minor effects are so worth it as things seem completely different when I'm not having to cope with pain all the time.

So the point of this post, I guess, is that if you are some time post CAD and still dealing with pain and other things, there might be a solution and it's worth pursuing for a better quality of life.

Thank you for reading and as always, the Facebook CAD groups are incredibly supportive and worth joining if you haven't already:

Closed CAD Group

Public CAD Group


And some of my previous posts:

Diagnosis

Fatigue after Dissection

20 Month Update

In some sort of weird serendipitous way, the word 'kindness' has crossed my path many times in the last while - a discussion with a friend, an article shared by Amanda of Spiderworking and a couple of other instances that spoke to me. All seemed to be a gentle hint that it might be a topic worth discussing so here are my thoughts :)

You would imagine that kindness is not a thing that would go out of fashion, yet it somehow has, or it has certainly seemed that way. There is something quite harsh and uncaring about Social Media, an arena where many people now spend a good part of their time. There has also, for a long time, been a  very narcissistic self-obsession in popular culture. Whether physical, emotional or spiritual, the emphasis has been on self improvement; perfect diets, gym bodies, perfect show families, mindfulness. In essence, the impetus has been to focus entirely on yourself and often in a sense of how you appear to the outside world.  And whilst none of the things I have mentioned are inherently bad (they are pretty good a lot of the time), the whole package together just seems to have led to a firm placing of our own egos at the centre of the universe.  And with that comes an inevitable loss of care for other people.
This loss of care is so evident online - if you make the mistake of looking into comments on any kind of controversial topic, you will see so much vitriol and absolute self assurance from the most stupid and ignorant of people. This is a whole other topic in itself but it's pretty obvious that kindness and tolerance is the last thing on their minds!



It's not just online though, in real life also, people have become impatient and intolerant. Living as I do in a small town, it's perhaps not so evident, but I certainly can see how rude and pushy people can be in the city when I'm there. (Not that people are perfect where I live either, it's just that the pace is a bit slower and doesn't lend itself to rudeness in general)  I'm not exempt either - I've done the eye rolls when someone is not quick enough in a queue or asking pointless questions of the cashier.  This is not a good thing though, and it's me just giving into impatience, which is pointless. This kind of scenario doesn't merit an actual act of kindness, more a mental adjustment to be a little nicer.

There are lots of scenarios though, where you can do little things and they can mean a lot - hold the door open for someone, help them with bags, offer a lift.  Just smile at someone! Don't make instant judgements  based on what people are wearing, or their accent or general demeanor - let's face it, you have no idea what kind of day they are having or if they are going through a hard time.

I've also noticed, and become less tolerant of, narcissistic people in conversation. I honestly don't know if this is a new phenomenon or if I'm just getting older and grumpier but conversational style seems to be more and more 'talk about myself, talk about myself some more, blah, blah' - which is not actual conversation because this is a two way street and requires some interest in the other person. Linking in again to the self-obsession and lack of kindness that seems to be common now. It's amazing how good a nice engaging conversation can make you feel and it's lovely to think that someone might be interested in what is happening with you, so it is an act of kindness itself to make that effort and properly engage with someone.

Being kind is not a thankless sacrifice though. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that being kind is actually very good for us - it boosts your serotonin, lowers blood pressure, reduces anxiety and generally makes you feel positive - you can read more detail here.  If only for those reasons, it's worth trying to be kind from time to time. Kindness is also a lovely thing that can make you stop and appreciate people, and it's so easy to forget to do this with all the rushing around we do.

So I'm making an effort from now on to be consciously kinder - and don't get me wrong, I don't mean that we should stop calling out injustices or be passive, I just mean that we should take another look at all the people in our lives and around us in real life, and see if we can brighten their days a little bit.

You might  also my post on the Positivity Trap
or Parenting Teens, some life-saving tips.

It was a bit of a blustery and cold Easter weekend but we had a lovely trip to the Rock of Dunamase and to Emo Court. The Rock of Dunamase is a place I have been meaning to visit for a long time.  I have passed it in the car a few times and always thought how spectacular it looked.
Historically, it is also really fascinating - it was an Anglo-Norman castle and it is easy to see why this location would have been chosen; set on a high rock, there are incredible views for miles. The fortress itself was protected on three sides by cliffs and access was only available through a double barbican (a fortified gateway with a narrow passage through which entrants to the castle had to walk).

Built in the 12th century, there is evidence of much earlier activity also and the name of the rock comes from the Irish Dún Másc which means Masc's fort. It must have strategically been very important and was in fact part of the dowry of Aoife upon her marriage to Strongbow.  It was then given to Isabel, their daughter, upon her marriage to William Marshal.
It was frequently attacked in the 1300's by Gaelic Irish who had been driven off their lands and it was eventually destroyed by a Cromwellian army in 1650.
What remains is just ruins but there is an incredible sense of history here, as well as a beautiful vista across to the Slieve Bloom mountains.
Do wrap up well if it's a cold day as the site is very exposed and we all felt the bitter wind after just a short time up there!
My camera lens doesn't really do it justice but here are some of my pics from the day.




There is something very regal about these ruins and it's not hard to cast yourself back in time and imagine the medieval lords and ladies walking through the halls.

From here to something quite different and very close by - Emo Court is approximately 15 minutes drive from Dunamase.

I've often said that the Midlands are very overlooked.  We don't, of course, have the wild beauty of the west, but there are many fantastic places to visit and another is Emo Court.  This was only my second visit there and the weather was much better on the first which made it a bit more conducive to strolling around, but it was fresh and bright and the tea rooms were cosy and warm!

Emo Court is a neo-classical mansion and it was designed by James Gandon (his more famous buildings are the Custom House and the Four Courts) in 1790 for the Earls of Portarlington.  It was acquired by the Jesuits in the 20th century and owned by them until it was bought by Cholmeley Harrison in the 1960's. This was a very fortunate turn of events for the Irish people because it was Harrison who carefully restored Emo Court and returned it to the Irish in 1994.  It is now maintained by the OPW.

It is elegant and beautiful as the term neo-classical suggests, with formal and symmetrical design and 35 hectares of gardens with a man made lake and woodland area as well as formal lawns.
You can do a guided tour of the house (we opted not to this time) and at the time of writing there is also an exhibition of Father Browne's photographic work. Interestingly enough he lived in the house for a time.  The café is welcoming and warm with a fabulous selection of cakes and there is a little gift shop also.
You can do a full circuit of the lake which is just over 2km - I started out but was abandoned because  I got too engrossed in taking photos :)










I hope I've inspired you to visit one of these places and if you want to get some delicious food, you could check out the French Quarter Café in Portarlington - I wrote about this in greater detail here. It opens Monday-Saturday as far as I know but click the link to see their Facebook page for further info.

Details on Emo Court - Emo Court
Details on Rock of Dunamase - Rock of Dunamase

Have a look at some of my other Places to Visit posts if you're looking for some weekend inspiration!