Facebook Groups, the Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I’m a member of quite a few Facebook groups at this stage – some for my blog, some for business, some for different interests and also support groups for my Carotid Artery Dissection.
Facebook groups can be a wonderful way to connect, find support, have fun, but they can also be a big drain on your time and energy.  I have been thinking of cutting back or leaving some groups I am in because it can all become like a constant white noise at times.
So here is how I have divided up my experience of Facebook groups so far.  There are the good, the bad and the ugly!

Facebook Inspirational Quote the Curragh Kildare

First of all, the good side of Facebook groups. 

Why does anyone join a group in the first place? It’s to get something. As I said, it can just be a connection or a way to ‘meet’ people of similar mindset. I joined two Carotid Artery Dissection groups which I mentioned in previous posts. I can honestly say that those groups got me through one of the worst periods of my life. I was experiencing a very unusual condition with a myriad of debilitating symptoms that were poorly understood by the medical profession or by anyone around me. The relief at finding other people going through the same thing was immense and although I don’t check in as often as I used to, I still make a point of helping others. I like to pass on some of the kindness that was shown to me – even down to a member of the group calling me from the States when I first joined. This was such a lovely thing to do and to be able to talk to someone directly helped me so much.  The atmosphere in the groups is gentle and non-judgmental and supportive and people offer encouragement and advice in such a nice manner.

I also joined a group some time back called Bite the Biscuit. This is a business group but with a little difference in that it’s centered around those who have a creative business. You could be an artist or a writer or just someone like me who crafts and creates, and tries to make money from it.
This group is also a wonderful supportive space, where creativity and difference is celebrated. I felt right at home there from the start and the positivity is what keeps me there.

Next up, what I see as the bad side of groups.

Like I said, being in a lot of groups can take up time and mental space that could be better spent. It’s partly that pressure to check notifications and respond to things. Or join in online activities or events that require your presence at a certain time.  Sometimes there aren’t enough hours in the day and it can add to stress. You can feel almost guilty at not being able to constantly participate, or you can feel like perhaps you are missing out on some vital contact that might lead to a business order.
There is likewise the issue of balance within the groups. As in life, groups are populated with all kinds of different personalities and within business groups especially, you come across so many lovely supportive people. Unfortunately the converse is also true.  You get so many people joining who want to incessantly promote their own business or agenda without ever offering a reciprocal support to others.  This is something that irritates me immensely. The benefits of mutual support are huge. You make contacts and connect with people and are then happy to recommend them to others. You can engage with a larger group on social media and have the bonus of your own updates being more visible.  Not only that, but you can make friends for life.
One example of this self-serving persona in groups is business or blog threads which are designed to help everyone with their social media exposure.  So you post a link to your Facebook or Instagram or any other platform and then happily follow away all the other posters in the thread. Only to discover that half haven’t bothered following back or else followed and promptly unfollowed.  The arrogance and selfishness of this never ceases to amaze me!

Social media unfollowing picture

Finally I’d like to take a look at the ugly side of Facebook groups.

This is probably the one most relevant to all different kinds of group.  What I’m talking about here is the trolling and judgement and negativity that I have seen again and again.  It’s usually only a small minority of people who engage in this kind of behaviour but they can turn the atmosphere sour in record time.  I have seen this many times in lots of different groups and it’s quite incredible how people can either be oblivious to the feelings of others , or even worse, delight in upsetting people and posting offensive opinions.
Also, there are the people who join certain groups just to find out what other businesses are doing.   They have no interest in supporting others and are, in fact, quite happy to copy ideas.

I think the key to stopping this kind of negativity is down to the administrators of the groups and I have a huge respect for what admins do because it’s not easy to constantly monitor grown adults who should really know better.

Well, that’s my take on things! What do you think? Have you had good experiences or bad experiences with Facebook groups?

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  • Random Musings
    Random Musings 21 March 2017 at 12:18

    I try to limit myself with groups I actively use. I'm in one fab blogging group which is supportive and community minded and a couple of book promo groups. Generally speaking, there's too much drama in a lot of Facebook groups!

    • Cliona Kelliher
      Cliona Kelliher 21 March 2017 at 12:30

      Yes, I think I'm probably in too many :) And I can't bear the drama either!

  • Downland Crafts
    Downland Crafts 21 March 2017 at 12:34

    As always a great article. I have experienced all the above, the good, the bad and the very ugly! I have dramatically reduced the amount of groups I run and participate and while I do sometimes miss them it does mean I have way more time to concentrate on my own business which is a good thing. I will continue to be as helpful as I can as it's in my nature but I no longer expect the same courtesy from others as many people are sadly selfish, constantly take from others and still find a reason to complain. I am happy to engage with the genuine people out there who support their fellow humans but have no time for trolls or drama.

    • Cliona Kelliher
      Cliona Kelliher 21 March 2017 at 12:46

      Yes, I totally agree and I know you have been through the mill with groups! It's awful how some people can be so selfish and nasty but engaging with the good guys is definitely the way to go :)

  • ShinnersandtheBrood
    ShinnersandtheBrood 27 March 2017 at 10:13

    Facebook groups can be such hard work. I've not encountered too much negativity yet but I'm sure I will. Don't START me on the follow-unfollow business... Grrr. 🙄

    • Cliona Kelliher
      Cliona Kelliher 27 March 2017 at 12:16

      Yep, the unfollow thing drives me mad!

    • complicated me
      complicated me 3 April 2017 at 16:25

      its hard but we all need to learn to be resilient - I need to take my own advice but yep it can hurt :(

  • rhian westbury
    rhian westbury 3 April 2017 at 15:59

    The only proper Facebook groups I take part in are for blogging and for my music website, and I do agree it can be disheartening when people don't follow whatever guidelines are set out for the group x

  • Musings of a tired mummy...zzz...
    Musings of a tired mummy...zzz... 3 April 2017 at 20:53

    I'm in a couple of groups and haven't had any negative experiences yet. I agree they take up a lot of time but hopefully worthwhile ;)

  • Lyndsey OHalloran
    Lyndsey OHalloran 3 April 2017 at 23:01

    I see so many crappy comments in some of the groups on Facebook!

  • Culinaryjumbleshealthierbites
    Culinaryjumbleshealthierbites 4 April 2017 at 08:12

    I know what you mean! I am a member of a couple of really lovely FB groups, but many I left for the same reasons you mentioned - people literally gagging for followers, then not bothering to return the favour, or unfollowing later. I think it is easy to see where the bad eggs are, and as you say, direct your energy towards the groups that are helpful and supportive!

  • Kerry Louise Norris
    Kerry Louise Norris 4 April 2017 at 22:33

    I notice lots of people join those follow threads and then never actually join in. That's very annoying. I've had some great help in a Disney group though x

  • Sarah Hughes
    Sarah Hughes 5 April 2017 at 15:00

    I hate when people sign up to threads and then don't bother to get involved. Sometimes there is a delay in me commenting or sharing, but I always make sure I go back and do it. It's just polite!

  • Louise
    Louise 5 April 2017 at 18:44

    I recently started deleting myself from a lot of the blogging groups I'm in because of the negativity and stuff. I don't need any extra drama in my life - I have enough with my two kids and the other half who is constantly going on at me lol

    Louise x

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