Rant Series - Putting Women Down
Rant series
– putting women down.
Another in my rant series and one of my own for a change!
This is
something that has been on the periphery of my mind for a while and a few
situations brought it to the forefront recently. An overheard conversation, the
election of Trump and attitudes to my own dress highlighted a sad fact for me,
namely that women very often critique other women in a negative way.
It made me
question why and why it is that I often feel uncomfortable in groups of women
that I don’t know very well. You can
take 4 or 5 individuals who might be lovely to talk to on their own, but
combine them in a group situation and some kind of herd instinct seems to take
over. The jockeying for attention and the unspoken judgement, the unconscious
checking to see what’s acceptable and what isn’t, all are things that make me
feel profoundly ill at ease.
It could be
dress, parenting, work, any combination of those but that particular dynamic
makes the very thought of a ‘girl’s night’ anathema to me.
And I
wonder why things are still this way? I understand the competitive instinct
that human beings have, I can be very competitive in lots of ways but I am
disinclined to judge people on dress because how you dress is an expression of
yourself. Unless you are desperately
trying to fit in or emulate some kind of ‘ideal’ woman as portrayed by
media. In which case, other people’s
judgement makes more sense to me. If you
are trying to fit in and want everyone else to be in that sinking ship, then
anything different is a threat.
It’s a big
two fingers to the status quo that you are entrenched in, so, resentment of
anyone who has liberated themselves from that is a logical conclusion.
Trying to
process the election of Donald Trump to the presidency has been difficult, for
me and for most of the world. One of the most startling revelations of the
proceedings, for me, anyway, was that many women voted for Trump – white women,
black women, Hispanic women. Not so
unusual, perhaps, had he been the usual run of the mill candidate but the fact
that his campaign was laced with misogyny, racism and bigotry makes that fact
extraordinary. It beggars belief
honestly.
I can only
conclude that misogyny is so deeply rooted in our culture, that this kind of
Stockholm Syndrome response seems normal – supporting someone who has
effectively said that he hates you, handing him the power and the tools to
enforce that hatred and spread it to an entire nation defies any kind of
logical thought process. So it can only
be a culturally engrained thoughtless instinct to obey and accept.
Women judging
women somehow seems a lot more tragic to me than men judging women. It’s a denial of our common experiences, both
positive and negative. And I feel also
that it’s a lack of strength and ego, an uncertainty of self that is probably
largely due to cultural and societal influences over the centuries. And this is something that we need to
constantly question and fight against.
Whilst I
don’t believe that I’m going to be best pals with someone just because they are
female, I think it is important to stand together and to fight against inequality
and sexism as a united group and to always QUESTION and think before we rush to
judgement and criticism.
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Response to the Trump Video
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Response to the Trump Video
This month has been so taxing. I'm a little apprehensive about what's to come but gotta keep dightans supporting one another.
I have also noticed the same. I think men judging women is bad, but woman who judge others I find to be so sad when we should be uplifting and encouraging each other.
I do agree that women even in their higher status need to realize that yes they did work hard and to lead by example. I'm looking for women that help others. Guide and teach other the process not a fend for yourself deal.
Such a strong topic! It's sad to find women judging other women where we should be supportive and encouraging each other.I think encouraging or praising anyone irrespective of the fact male or female brings out the confidence one has in oneself.
Xo,
Shreya!
https://mymagicaltrunk.com/
I try and support my fellow women as often as possible. I even hosted a local women in business event at my home last fall.